Saturday, May 29, 2010

Overheard at School (School's Out Edition)

Hypothetical Teacher and Hypothetical Non-Existent Student are lounging outrageously on a picnic table, watching the other students play basketball in the hot sun on asphalt.

HNES: "You drinkin' coffee? That shit's too hot for this shit out here."
HT: "Remember the part where we don't cuss here, but yeah, it's my coffee. My mother-in-law stayed with us last night, and she made coffee this morning. And it's good."
HNES: "She stay with you at your place? What for?"
HT: "My kids graduated from the eighth grade last night. She came down to see it, and we went to my parents' house for awhile, and then she spent the night with us so she could go home this morning."
HNES: "Ohhhhh."
A pause. The only sound is the breeze rustling through HT's mustache.

HNES: "Y'all got fuckin' wasted, huh?"

Sunday, May 23, 2010

"On Guns, Calderon Spoke for All of Us?" All of whom?

Mr. Henigan, you remind me of nothing so much as a kamikaze recruiter or one of the handlers who talks young boys and girls from the Gaza Strip into strapping on explosive vests. I'm sure President Obama is enjoying having you yap at his heels demanding that he commit political suicide by openly setting himself up as the anti-Constitution candidate, but I doubt even you seriously think he's going to take that advice.

Mr. Obama lives by the famous and sage advice of Russell Ziskey:

"When I was a kid, my father told me, 'Never hit anyone in anger, unless you’re absolutely sure you can get away with it.' "
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost