Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Klutzo's Autopsy Holds No Surprises

So, they did the autopsy on the evil clown who died in Sangamon County Jail the other day, and to my complete lack of surprise it turns out that he had a "pre-existing heart condition." I'm guessing that this must be the same heart problem that was mentioned to the public when he was arrested--the same one causing the classing cardiac symptoms before he was hit with a Taser. Of course, the local media is still playing this as a story about whether the Taser is a lethal weapon or not, and local idiots are calling the radio station as fast as they can dial to proclaim that the deputies should have just locked the cell door and left him in there until he calmed down (this while he was showing signs of cardiac troubles capable of ruining his whole day!) Maybe they Tased him too quickly. I don't pretend to know that. But what I don't believe is that a guy with heart problems should be able to jump into a brawl with multiple young cops and expect that his heart will hold up to the strain.

The best part of the morning TeeVee news report today was their attempt to sound somewhat unbiased while giving Amnesty International airtime for their "study" that purported to "prove" that Tasers are deadly weapons. "The study is not scientific, but Amnesty International says that they have gathered cases in which people died after being shocked with the devices."

Oh, well then. A "not scientific" study of anecdotes, that assumes that correlation is causation? Why didn't you say so in the first place? I'm TOTALLY on board with you now. Let's go back to shooting people and beating them with sticks right away before someone gets hurt!

2 comments:

  1. I've been tased, twice. And yes, it's about as enjoyable as being stabbed with a steak knife wielded by a speed addict who's just finished slamming a thermos of espresso. But the pain, and current, are confined to the tissue occupied between the two contact points. I was hit with it after watching at least ten other individuals do the same. Somehow, we all survived without cardiac damage.

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