Ah, Small Town Life

I swear I am not making this up. From the Gold Nugget classified ads section, which is published weekly in the Virden Recorder, Girard Gazetter, Panhandle Press and Northwestern News, we find this little snapshot of small-town midwestern life snuggled in among the "CONGRATULATIONS " and "THANK YOU" ads:

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

I, Betty Peeler, am not losing my house. I am selling it to be closer to my daughter and nor have I been living or anything else with a man from Girard, but thank you for all the help I've received since I've been out of work with severe back and neck injuries for over three years. And that's what friends are for.

Indeed it is, Ms. Peeler. Indeed it is.
(Names were not changed to protect the innocent. She paid good money to have her name published in the newspaper. We're saving her reputation here!)