Rolling Stone's 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America List is Just a List of All the Guns

So, hey, Rolling Stone . . . how many kinds of guns you gonna put on your list of the 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America?

Ah.

But not literally every kind of gun, right? Because that would be pointless, except as a transparent cry for clicks. Let's see what you've got so far:

1. "Pistols." Like . . . all pistols? Well . . . OK. I see you've singled out Glocks and copy/pasted some weirdly irrelevant details from Wikipedia or something. Maybe Glocks are the most dangerous pistols? No? Well, good effort, champ.
2. "Revolvers."  Would you care to elaborate? Oh, you meant the handgun kind of revolvers and not grenade launchers? You're right, that does really clear things up. I'm sure that's what everyone was wondering. Is there, maybe, somebody else there who could--nope, moving on? OK then.
3. "Rifles." Created to address the inaccuracy of smoothbore muskets. I mean, the thing about that kind of statement is that it's true. It's not technically wrong. It's the idea that you thought it was relevant to your point that reveals your lunacy. It's like describing a sports car as an enclosed space in which one can listen to music using magnets. It's not false, it's just . . . . balmy.
4. "Shotguns." Well, I'm not going to pretend I didn't see that coming. So we've got pistols, revolvers, rifles and shotguns so far. Next pretty much has to be machine guns or replica miniature field artillery, right? Remember that one episode of Magnum, P.I. where Higgins was making Magnum and the boys pretend to be the French at Waterloo while he fired his little cannon at them? Good times. Also, I can't tell what you were trying to say about shotgun shells by calling them "fixed" in comparison to rifle cartridges, which were described as "metallic." Please advise.
5. Derringers. Ding-damned Derringers, y'all. I can't even. I don't know. All my feelings are . . . you know what, Rolling Stone? You're all right. All is forgiven, you goofy sonsabitches. Just don't ever start making sense. You're beautiful, just the way you are.

Nature Abhors a Vacuum

I haven't looked around really hard . . . but I haven't seen a webcomic, Youtube entrepreneur or anyone else do the most obvious slam-dunk eyeball magnet I can think of: The Apocalypse Now bit, starring a reasonable facsimile of Martin Sheen as Willard and, inevitably, a gross caricature of Charlie Sheen as Col. Kurtz.

Then again, when Charlie Sheen does the inevitable interview in which he shaves his head in the presence of a Serious News Reporter and then does a 6-minute monologue about a snail crawling on the edge of a straight razor, real life will once again overtake satire. Maybe somebody did the math and decided that it wasn't worth it to spend a week making a bit that won't be satirical anymore in ten days or so.

Mayor Daley Pleads In Vain for Gun Control Questions at Chicago Press Conference

(Sorry, the video absolutely refuses to embed for some reason. It's worth clicking, believe me.)

This was edited down to a short bit of Mayor Daley appealing "Just one question?!? Please?" in the report that went out on air. But this raw excerpt shows so much more: Mayor Daley is holding a joint press conference with Representative Mike Quigley, D-Chicago 5th, the heir to the throne previously warmed by the butts of Rahm Emanuel, Rod Blagojevich and Dan "Rosty" Rostenkowski. The duo were presenting a petition demanding that Congress "Fix Gun Checks" by requiring background checks on every single firearm purchase nationwide . . . in other words, the complete prohibition of private sales. But that's not the really interesting part, nor is it Rep. Quigley's charming talking point, "With a 30-round clip, you're hunting people and that's all there is to it!"

No, the interesting part was Mayor Daley's near-meltdown as he realized that the reporters present didn't care about his anti-gun initiative and had really only shown up to pepper him with questions about their new leader, Lord Mayor Twinkletoes. He began asking for questions "about gun violence," then asking more forcefully, and ended up nearly pleading for someone, anyone, to tee up a gun control softball like the old days. Finally one reporter offered to ask a question about guns, and Da Mare was visibly relieved.

And then the reporter asked what he thought about the momentum in favor of right-to-carry legislation in Illinois this year.

Da Mare lost it at that point and went Full Daley. The furious squeaking of serial rhetorical questions was a sight to behold. It could not be clearer that Da Mare has no idea where the public is on this issue.

In case anyone wonders, I now present my own answers to Da Mare's rhetorical questions:

"Do you think in your community somebody should carry a concealed weapon?"
Yes.

"To your synagogue?"
If we had one, sure.

"To your daughter's school?"
Yes.

"Should they go to a park?"
Everybody should go to a park. Parks are nice.

"All out there, can anybody carry a gun where you live?"
No, but it's coming, and you and yours don't have enough dirty tricks left to stop it.

"Do you think that's the right thing to do?"
Yes, it is.

"Do you think America should be proud?"
Yes, I do.

"Welcome to America, carry a gun?"
Yes, although I don't mind if you want to limit that to law-abiding residents for now.

"I mean, if this should, you should be outraged about this!"
I thank you for your opinion.

"You're a journalist, you're a reporter!"
Well, one dabbles . . . sweet of you to say, though.

"You have a right to write anything!"
That's true. For instance, mustache ice cream is shorty-sicle elephant parade!

"This ought to be a headline, i-i-i-i-i-in your newspaper, asking people to appeal for common-sense gun laws."
On the Opinion page, of course. Right? I mean . . . that's what you meant, right, sir?

"I mean, not Mayor Daley, not Mayor Daley, this is their fight behind me, this is not Mayor Daley's fight, or Representative Quigley's . . . . . ."
That's the thing, Mayor. You are shedding allies for a reason; this is increasingly your fight. The public doesn't see this issue your way anymore, and you don't have the grip you once had on government or, clearly, media to steer public opinion for you. You would have to do a lot better than these tantrums from now on . . . . if you stay in the game.

Ess You What Huh What?

I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering what on earth the "States United to Prevent Gun Violence" is supposed to be. Their name is only slightly less stupid than the "Freedom States Alliance," which is just about a syntactically null statement (what are the "Freedom States," and why do they advocate cracking down on freedom?)
Seriously, "States United?" You idiots are claiming to be a coalition of state governments or something. You are, at best, a sort of shell corporation consisting of various vestigial state-level gun-banning groups that represent tiny minorities of the voters in your respective states. You are entirely full of crap, and I've never heard of you. My guess is that the SUPGV was created out of whole cloth quite recently as a way to pool that sweet, sweet grant money from the Joyce Foundation people so everyone can keep feeding, even if each goober had to accept less largesse than he's grown accustomed to.

Being a gun-ban astroturf activist is not a fun or respected life, but it beats working for a living, I guess.

Overheard in a bar . . .

. . . . down the street from the Illinois Capitol in Springfield:

Veteran Politico: "Okay, tell me how you win Mcdonald. How do you lay out the argument that wins Mcdonald for you?"
Chicago City Attorney: "Honestly? I don't see any way."

Hearing a Chicago attorney admit they're likely to lose McDonald v. Chicago in a big way is like hearing your wife say she loves you. Sure, it's nothing new, and maybe she thinks it should go without saying, but it's still nice to hear it out loud.

IL Politics: Boosting Hoosier self-esteem since 1818

Shootin' Buddy wants to hear more about the Democratic candidate for Lieutenant Governor. This is because Shootin' Buddy is from Indiana, and people who live in Indiana love Illinois political scandals almost as much as people who live in Illinois. I think it makes them feel smugly self-righteous.

The quickest reference would be to go to the Capitol Fax Blog and look for the name "Scott Cohen" or "Scott Lee Cohen." I'll write more about this tomorrow, but right now I have some other stuff to do, so here are the important parts for those of you who live outside the walls.

• Illinois' 1970 Constitution mandates that each party hold separate primary elections for Governor and Lt. Governor, but the primary winners run together on the same ticket. So we sometimes see two candidates who hate each other or have never met. Sometimes a Governor candidate and a Lt. Governor candidate team up in the primaries, but they have no way of guaranteeing that if one wins, the other will win too.
• It wasn't that long ago that a young dreamer named Rod Blagojevich had to run with a grizzled perpetual candidate named Pat Quinn. Quinn was a crusader and Blagojevich was a corrupt and hated Governor, but neither got a choice of running mate. And Quinn went so far as to hint that it was now OK to vote for Blagojevich, since Quinn would be there to pick up the reins of the state if Blagojevich happened to get indicted or impeached. That's why Quinn is Governor of Illinois today.
• But OH! The IRONY! Now Quinn has fought his way to the nomination so he can win election on his own and convince people not to inscribe "The Accidental Governor" on his tombstone. It was a vicious campaign, with his opponent, a popular Comptroller with a reputation for trying to control spending and pay the bills, actually digging up video of Chicago's first black Mayor (who can't comment, since he's dead) explaining why he fired Quinn for gross incompetence. The race came down to a 50-50 split, with Quinn ahead by about 7,000 votes, and Hynes waited a couple of days to make sure it was over before he conceded. But a few hours before that concession . . . .
• The press suddenly woke up and began to ask Scott Lee Cohen questions. Cohen was a surprise winner in the Lt. Governor primary, but most people knew almost nothing about him. All most of us knew was that you couldn't turn on a radio without hearing a very persuasive, positive ad for Cohen about how he was "the only candidate doing something about jobs in Illinois" by holding job fairs in the state.
• Unfortunately for Quinn, it turns out that Cohen has a little more to his record than that, including . . . .
  
• Allegations of steroid abuse and roid raging (from his ex-wife's divorce filings.)
• Allegations of abuse in his divorce (again, from divorce filings.)
• Allegations that he held a knife to a woman's throat (happened a few months into his divorce, he calls her his girlfriend and a licensed massage therapist he met in "a massage therapy place," police report on the incident describes her as a prostitute. The cops reported that she had abrasions consistent with a knife on her throat, but she didn't show up for court and charges were dismissed.)

Now at least one political authority in IL (Archpundit) is calling for Quinn and the Democrats to put Dan Hynes, the guy who just spent six months feuding with Quinn and shredding him in an attempt to take his job, in Cohen's place as candidate for Lt. Governor. But here's the catch--even if Quinn is that statesmanlike, they can't remove Cohen. He won the election. He either steps down voluntarily, or he's in the race. And he doesn't owe anyone in the Democrat Party any favors . . . . I'm considering a grassroots campaign of support for the guy.

The Breda Fallacy: yuk yuk

"Let he who has never drowned a young woman cast the first . . . .well, actually, let's hold off on that . . . ."

The Breda Fallacy: yuk yuk

Even more accusations that Ted Kennedy was a heartless monster who joked about leaving Mary Jo Kopechne to drown in cold, dark water . . . . except it's Joe Klein remembering, and he thinks it's a sign of Kennedy's broad-minded good humor.

You see, Joe, if the victim can laugh about it years later, that's a sign of a strong soul and the healing power of humor. But if the perpetrator can laugh about it, that means something entirely different.

Obama "Kenyan Birth Certificate" Hoax

Why, it can't be! I'm SHOCKED, I tell you!

No, wait, no I'm not. This was completely predictable and widely predicted. Sorry, I forgot for a minute there.

Fine cotton business paper: $11

Inkjet printer: $35

1940 Royal Model KMM manual typewriter: $10

2 Shilling coin: $1

Pilot Varsity fountain pen: $3

Punkin' the Birthers: Priceless

Before you get your panties in a knot, observe that those aren't my words. I'm quoting the person who used a few dollars worth of office supplies to expose Birthers as what they are: people who really, truly believe in the power of magical thinking.

Hat Tip to Little Green Footballs.

Sad Panda Alert: Fr. Michael "Snuffy" Pfleger at SAFR Chicago

I'll be honest: I was a little disappointed with the attendance at the Second Amendment Freedom Rally this year. Last year's crowd was larger, probably at least partly because the Heller decision and the presidential election energized a lot of casually pro-gun people. By comparison, this year's crowd was smaller . . . . but it was hard not to notice that the famous Father Michael "Snuffy" Pfleger of the Snuffy and JJ Show came out to protest us with a whopping three followers and no Jesse Jackson. I'm not kidding; this photo is not doctored in any way and there's no tricky use of angles. This is just the best Snuffy could do.

Incidentally, if you look closely, you can see a kid bravely holding up the wall in the background so that it won't fall, snuffing Snuffy and his three loyal disciples. Kane was interested in the SAFR event and all, but here he's staring at the police officers. He has just discovered that the Chicago PD uses four-wheel ATVs . . . with blue strobe lights . . . . and street tires. Naturally, he is impressed.
That's Kenny Polhamus of KAP Guns grinning like a drunken tourist in some poor girl's spring break photo (that would make you the young lady, Snuffy.) What I really didn't get was the purpose behind showing up with four people holding incomprehensible signs. The NRA is a corporate gun dealer? Wha? Let's look at all the ways that's odd:

• The NRA doesn't sponsor the SAFR, Snuffy. That would be the ISRA and IllinoisCarry with a lot of help from the Second Amendment Sisters, Pink Pistols, and others. CORE was a big help this year (yes, the Congress Of Racial Equality.) The NRA didn't even send a representative this year, although an NRA member set up a table with NRA literature.
  
• The NRA actually does sometimes sell guns, usually commemorative items, but I wouldn't say it's a gun dealer in any normal sense of the word. Either way, you don't explain why it's a bad thing to be a gun dealer. Are you assuming that people will see the words "gun dealer" and think "Heavens to Murgatroyd, not in my neighborhood!"? I don't see that happening.
• If you're going to be a gun dealer, is it better to be a private company than a corporation? Why?

(Thanks to Robb Allen for the Sad Panda icon and Chris Conmy for the photos from SAFR. Click the Panda to see Robb's blog; click the photos to see Chris's other photos.)

Krazy Kommisar's House of Kars

Tamara notes another meme, the Obama-Lada Motorcar of the Peoples (the first 1,000 sold will actually have Rick Wagoner's tears in the coolant reservoirs.)



God bless Jeremy Clarkson.

One Down, Hundreds to Go

Rod Blagojevich has been impeached, removed from office, and prohibited from holding any elected office, anywhere in Illinois, ever again. How happy am I?

Well, I'm glad he's gone. That's a good thing. No matter what he and his apologizers try to say, "All the cool kids are doing it" is not a defense. He's still a crook, a liar, and a lizard. He never belonged in office, and we're all better off without him. But . . . .

. . . But he's not the only one. He'll be gone, and we'll still have Richard Daley, Dick Mell, Dick Durbin, Mike Madigan, Alexi Giannoulias, Rahm Emmanuel, Dan Kotowski, and a cast of thousands. These people are crooks, too, and nobody is impeaching them. Hell, Daley once shut down an airport in Chicago in open defiance of a court order, by sending in bulldozers in the middle of the night to rip giant X's out of the runways . . . and he's still there. Nobody even tried to get rid of him.

. . . But he's a crook being impeached by a bunch of other crooks. Hearing Emil Jones, Tom Kotowski and all the rest vote "yes" to affirm the articles of impeachment really brought that home all over again. This is like having the Joker kidnapped and tied up by the Penguin and Killer Croc. Sure, it's nice to know we won't be gunned down by weirdos in clown masks for awhile, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten how sick I am of dodging umbrella-bombs and walking the long way around manhole covers.

So, yeah, thanks for getting rid of Rod Blagojevich . . . but would the last honest politician in Illinois turn out the light before you go?

Search Terms: Peter Hamm Needs a Publicist or Something

Do you realize that this blog is the seventh-ranked Google result for "Peter Hamm?" That's weird. Even weirder: this blog is the only result on the first two pages of Google results for "Peter Hamm" that references Peter Hamm from the Brady Campaign to Steal Firearms. The rest are links for all kinds of Peter Hamms doing all kinds of things, ranging from chiropractic to appearing in exploitation movies.

Just to see if it would give me better results, I typed in "Peter Hamm gun control" and was rewarded with a page of results that do all pertain to the Peter Hamm gun owners know and love. On that page, though, this blog is the number one result. That is, the last post that mentioned Peter Hamm is the number one result--that would be the post from December 2nd of last year. They say tragedy pimpin' ain't easy, and certainly the business is cyclical, but I wonder if Peter is lying low or something.

Blagojevich III: Accidental Stupidity or Carefully Planned Stupidity?

Here's a thought that's worth exactly what you're paying for it:

A co-worker asked me today why Rod Blagojevich (D-Father-In-Law) would have had his defense attorney stay in the Governor's Mansion in Springfield, IL. It's a fair question, because at first glance, it looks like a pointless and stupid thing to do. Blago has long been the butt of jokes all over the state because he refused to move to Springfield when he was elected Governor. Springfield is the capital of Illinois, and the Governor's Mansion is a beautiful house on some beautiful land, but Rod was determined that his family would live in Chicago, not some backwater provincial capital where he could walk a couple of blocks and be in a neighborhood where poor people live in small houses. People here the Springfield area, of course, have a special hatred for him, and a lot of people keep a sort of mental tab running on the bill taxpayers are footing for him to fly to Springfield and back on a private state-owned airplane every time he wants to put in an appearance at the capitol.

The latest outrage came when people found out that although Blago is still not staying in the Governor's Mansion, Ed Genson has been staying there while he's in Springfield for Blagojevich's impeachment hearings. Giving the defense lawyer free room and board in the people's mansion has not been a popular move. The guy has more money than anybody in Springfield who isn't under indictment, and the best hotels in Springfield would be cheap to him. Besides, even if Blago is too stupid to know what the reaction would be, surely Genson had to know that people would be upset at this. So why do it?

Well, it's always possible that they just did something stupid and blind. That's how Blago got into this mess, and from the taped conversations we've all heard now, it does seem likely that we've overestimated his ability to think through the consequences of his actions. But what if we assume that there's some logical plan? What logical reason comes to mind? Here's the only thing I've come up with: Rod Blagojevich is looking for ways to piss people off.

Why do that? Because he has just about zero leverage. He can't do anything with his power as Governor, because the Legislature will undo it. He can't appoint the new Senator because he won't be seated. He's got no allies left; the power brokers never liked him that much before, and now it's poison to be seen not spitting on him. He has one card, and only one card, left to play: he can hang on, refuse to leave, and grind Illinois government to a complete halt. He made it clear today that he's planning to do exactly that; "I will fight. I will fight. I will fight until my dying breath," he said; it was poetry worthy of Whitesnake. Why hang on? Because the only thing he has left to trade for anything of value is his resignation. The only thing of value he can promise in return for what he wants (presumably leniency of some kind) is to go away without doing further damage. And the more upset and wild-eyed the public gets, the more value that card has, because there could eventually be political consequences for the people the public expects to remove Blagojevich if they can't get it done. If the public hates Blagojevich more and more, and if he can hang on and not get removed by impeachment in a timely manner, he can then offer his enemies his resignation in return for favors he wants. Under this wild-eyed conspiracy theory, it's hard to tell which insults are deliberately cultivated for the purpose of building this tension and which are the result of a thug with more hair than brains thrashing around without thinking much. But some things might make more sense. For instance:

• Why else put Genson up in the Governor's Mansion, the one place in Springfield guaranteed to infuriate the citizenry even more?
• Why else would Genson be making a special effort to mock belittle the legislators on the impeachment panel?

Now, again, I realize that these things may just be the byproducts of arrogance and stupidity. But I can't help but wonder whether there's a plan.

Blagojevich II: No, Seriously, Timing Is Everything

If you're not from Illinois, you might not have noticed the last giant political scandal to hit before "Blago" became a household name in households that can't pronounce "Blagojevich."
(That's bluh-GO-yeh-vitch, folks.)

The last big furball came up when the state's last Governor, George Ryan, began a campaign to get a favor from George W. Bush before the President leaves office. They're both Republicans, so that might not seem so odd, except that the favor Ryan needs is to have his sentence commuted. See, Ryan, in the grand tradition of Illinois Governors, is currently sitting in a prison cell. It turns out that if you force your workers to raise campaign funds or lose their jobs, and let them know that accepting bribes is a good way to raise the cash, they'll let some things slide. Things like giving commercial drivers' licenses to people who don't speak English, much less know how to drive trucks. Accidents could happen, and nice families could die in sickening ways on Illinois highways. When that happens, people will get made enough not to care that you're a powerful politician anymore.

Anyhoo, George Ryan was sentenced to 6.5 years and it looks like he's going to serve it. His wife appealed for mercy, and Dick Durbin (yes, the guy on the leadership team for the Senate Democrats) sent a letter to George Bush on Ryan's behalf. This puzzled people who don't understand Illinois "combine" politics. But to a Combine politician, it makes perfect sense. Ryan was powerful. He still has powerful friends. His lawyer, Jim Thompson, was the Governor of Illinois for a long time himself (but Big Jim won't be going to jail, thank you very much.) Ain't it grand to be connected? And if you're connected in the Combine, it doesn't matter which party you belong to. You join whichever party offers the best chance to advance in your geographic area; thus, if you're from Chicago, you're a Democrat, but if you believe exactly the same things in some of the Chicago suburbs, you're a Republican. If you're a guy who needs connections to make his millions, like our old friend Bill Cellini, then you do business with both parties and that's all there is to it.

Today, George Ryan offered, through his former-Governor lawyer Thompson, a "public apology" for his crimes. Well, technically, he apologized for doing "less than his best." But that's kind of like apologizing for running a racket out of the Secretary of State's office and getting people killed, only not, so let's not dwell on it. No, what gets me is the timing of it all. It's only been three days since the Governor of Illinois was arrested for a much more audacious version of the same kind of corruption that landed George Ryan in Cell Block 23 in the first place. Can you think of a worse time to offer this fake apology? He might be better off on the inside. He's probably in there among a bunch of accountants and embezzlers, after all, and people out here are starting to lose their tempers.

Ryan doesn't have much choice, though. He has to try now or never, because once Bush is out of office, he knows Obama's not going to do him any favors. Obama is beyond Illinois now and needs no favors in return, even if Ryan still had the power to do any. Even Bush is a long shot, because he's going to have to take a reputation hit if he pardons Ryan. Personally, I thought Ryan was facing long odds before the Blagojevich arrest. Now I don't see how anyone can get away with commuting his sentence.

Blagojevich I: I'm Sorry, I Can't Pretend to Be Shocked

So Rod Blagojevich turned out to be an arrogant crook. Uh huh. I'm having a hard time working up the snark, to be honest. We've known this man was a Professional Son-In-Law for years, folks. The question was always how long it would take him to get caught, and now we don't even have that question to debate anymore. The only surprise for me was that Blagojevich surrendered a FOID card, which means he was a card-carrying Illinois gun owner. I'm not terribly surprised by that; the biggest gun-banners always seem to have their own gun collections, and Dick Mell, Blagojevich's Fairy-God-Father-In-Law, has a legendary collection in Chicago; he even had to bull through a change in Chicago's nightmare bramble of gun registration laws to make his collection legal. These are not people who play by the rules they set for the lower castes.

But I've been called out after a fashion, so here are the few thoughts I've mustered up:

First, let's talk about what this doesn't mean. No matter how breathless the national conservative commentators get, this doesn't tell us much about Barack Obama, at least not yet. We already knew that Obama made his name in Chicago, so we already knew that he swam with sharks. The question was whether he joined in all the reindeer games in Chicago, a city where every public possession or job is for sale, or whether he held himself aloof and stayed above the fray. The mainstream media was convinced early on that The Lightworker must have avoiding Getting Any On Himself, but his detractors have never been so certain. I would be VERY surprised to find out that Obama participated in any of Blagojevich's schemes to sell his old senate seat, if only because Blagojevich comes up with political corruption schemes that Ethel would give Lucy a good solid BOP! just for mentioning. I give the guy credit for having a plan, but let's face it, it was almost more stupid than it was criminal, and that's going a ways. I doubt Obama would have had anything to do with it; if he did, he's not as smart I think he is.

As a matter of fact, I've heard more than one commentator wonder why Patrick Fitzgerald came out publicly so quickly, when he could have let the scheme progress until the crime had actually been committed. It seems, they argue, that he accepted a weaker case when all he had to do was wait a few more weeks--after waiting years. How to explain that? Well, I can think of a few explanations off the top of my head. Maybe even one that hasn't already been proven untrue.

How about this? Fitzgerald has taps on the Governor's phones--he has actually had FBI agents break into the Governor's Office--and he's been talking to sources. How long will it be before the Governor finds out somehow? Eventually somebody will open his big mouth--especially since Fitzgerald has had to brief feds, the IL Attorney General's office, and others. In Chicago, the chances that no one who wants a big favor from Blagojevich will find out about this are not very good. I think it's entirely possible that Fitzgerald either found out or suspected that his investigation had been "made" and would soon be revealed to Blagojevich. That would make an early wrap-up make a lot more sense, no? But it's not the only possibility.

Moving on, conspiracy theorists both left and right aside, it's unlikely that Blagojevich has contracted OBS (Obama Bus Syndrome.) More likely, he is what he seems to be--a boyishly-handsome puppet of his father-in-law who got way too big for his britches and decided that no one could deny him anything. The really shocking thing about all this, after all, is not that Blagojevich was corrupt. It's that he tried to pull off what may have been his most audacious act of corruption after Tony Rezko went to jail (and was widely assumed to be telling the Federales where all the bodies were buried--so to speak); after taking credit for the passage of "anti-corruption" legislation he'd fought like the last Nazi platoon in Berlin; after Patrick Fitzgerald made it clear that he was back in Chicago with a vengeance and looking for fresh meat; and after he made every state employee take an offensive little annual quiz to show that they weren't doing dirty deals with the peoples' money, while he commuted by state-owned airplane and drove the state into the ground.

So . . . now that we've covered What This Doesn't Mean and How Don Was Wrong, what does it mean? For the next few weeks, Illinois is going to be a little on the random side. We have no Governor, period. Blagojevich is incapable of governing the state; no one will work with him, his own staff is resigning, and his political allies are all calling for him to resign. But what many outside the state may not realize is that Blagojevich has been despised by most of the state legislature and most state workers for years. His effectiveness as a Governor was already limited to things he could ram through with the help of Emil Jones, the President of the Illinois Senate, who announced his planned retirement this year. Blagojevich doesn't have to step down. The legislature can impeach him, but he can drag that out for a long time. It doesn't make much sense for him to do that, since the Feds have him dead to rights in his criminal trial and he should be spending all his time and energy on that, but he's a stubborn and unpredictable man and it's possible that he'd stay in office out of spite. He can even still appoint someone to Obama's Senate seat, if he wants to tilt at that particular windmill. It would make a negative amount of sense, of course. Even if it were possible for him to force the appointment through, who would he find who would want to be appointed by him now? Even if the appointee was too stupid to turn down the "honor," there are still Constitutional officers in Illinois who have the power to block the appointment--and if, by some miracle, they all develop suicidal tendencies and let the appointment go through, the leadership in the U.S. Senate can still refuse to seat the appointee. Bottom line? Never, ever, ever gonna happen. Not even a little. It would be completely pointless for Blagojevich to try.
So why can't I shake the nagging feeling that he might do it anyway just to see what shakes out? Maybe I've lived here too long.

Here's the bottom line: there are people all over the state who are literally getting drunk in celebration tonight because Blagojevich got arrested. I know of one guy who was actually saving a vacation day to be used for just that purpose, and he told a mutual acquaintance that he and his friends were going to be off work today to tie one on. But all the jubilation misses a sobering point: Rod Blagojevich is the Governor we deserved. We elected this guy. Twice. He wrecked us, he despised us, he choked our economy to death and humped the cold, lifeless corpse while he laughed at us, and we asked him to stay for another term.
Do we really have any right to be surprised that this crook thought nobody could stop him? All we had to do was vote against him, or, if we couldn't find the fortitude to do that, vote against him the second time. We failed. We sowed failure. Now we reap failure.

The High Road; An Apology To You All

For now, all I have to say is that I don't have anything to say. Tomorrow I expect to go into much more detail. It's a dark day if you're a member of The High Road dot Org. It's after midnight, I spent all day in an emergency room, and I have parent-teacher conferences in the morning. I'm going to bed.

Before I do, I want to say this much:

If you're a member of www.thehighroad.org and you're wondering what's going on, I'm sorry. I apologize on behalf of the entire staff for the fact that we were not able to keep our childish bickering and junior-league food fights from destroying a community you built with us from nothing. I would urge you to hold yourselves blameless and instead hold the staff responsible for this epic failure of the ideals THR stands for, but I'm sure you've figured that part out for yourselves.

I'm sorry.

Obama and Biden are in Springfield

I really have nothing to say about these knuckleheads except this:
Joe Biden is stuck in Springfield (my stomping grounds) kissing Barack Obama's ass, while I am sitting here at Blackwater USA with sore hands from blasting steel all day.
I WIN, Biden. Better luck next time.

Le Clown Est Mort.

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I bring you sad, sad tidings:

Klutzo the Klown, the man who brought terror and disgust to children from Illinois to the Philippines, is dead.

Yes, yes, I know, it's terrible news. And it is certainly [i]not[/i] funny. I'm talking to you, Lawdog. Wipe that smirk off your face.

Even worse is that this misunderstood man died after being shocked with a TASER by minions of the state just because he was fighting them. Can you imagine such a thing? Amnesty International is apparently not happy about such shenanigans and goings-on. You have to hand it to these people--it's not easy being the pro-clown-child-molestation lobby, but I guess they figured that if they didn't do it, who would?

All joking aside, the rest of us are less concerned. This is the second time Klutzo has had to be restrained because he was fighting the deputies in the jail. They don't get paid enough to put up with his nonsense. I don't know what Amnesty International expected the deputies to do (the guy HAD to be put into the chair, because he was having medical issues and had to be transported to the local hospital. EMS response was apparently pretty prompt, because the ambulance was already en route to transport him to the hospital--and they were called and told to respond signal one when Klutzo's distress became clear.
Just to make it clear, I don't think you can say honestly that the deputies killed this guy by tasing him on his leg. Is it possible? Maybe. Could he have gotten asphyxiated positionally or something? Could be, certainly, but nobody seems to be suggesting that at this point. What we do know is that this guy was not in good health and probably wasn't in shape to be struggling with a mob of cops. But then, that was his choice, wasn't it? Somebody out there is apparently making a big deal out of the fact that the deputy with the TASER said in the report that he fired the TASER into Klutzo's leg, while information "downloaded from the TASER" indicated that it was pushed into the leg and used in the hand like a traditional stun gun. I confess I don't see the significance; as far as I know, the effect on the body should have been exactly the same either way. The voltage is the same, the amperage is the same, and I believe the duration is the same, so why does it matter where the unit was? Since no one is alleging that he wasn't tased in the leg, I'd guess that the marks from the probes bear that part out. I don't know why the deputy would say he was further back if he wasn't, of course, unless it was a simple mistake. What would he have to gain by lying about that?

For now, I'm not shedding any tears. Clowns deserve to be tased, and child molesters deserve death. Klutzo made his choices in life, and the consequences came, just like they always do sooner or later.

A Place for Everything, and Everything In Its Place

Our beloved former Governor, His Gubernatorial Highness King George Ryan, is finally in his place.

His place, it nearly goes without saying, is in federal prison with the rest of the felons. Schadenfreude is a terrible thing, it is true, but is it as terrible as knowing that you have committed a whole bunch of crimes and gotten some good people killed in the process?
Well, George says he may be going to prison after being convicted of racketeering by a jury of his peers, "but my conscience is clear." In other words, he claims to feel no remorse. Well, whatever. You don't have to feel sorry as long as you have to do your time, big man.