Saturday, September 28, 2013

I Fear I May Do Something Drastic . . .

My Bride has successfully lured me into trying a little ACTING! on the side this fall.  I'm going to be playing the grumpy, non-religious skinflint in a happy little Christmas play about some awful people who learn about the true spirit of Christmas. I think it's going to be a lot of fun, actually, if I can pull it off.

Anyway, I've been settled into My Look for awhile now; a full red beard and mustache with a bald head.  Like, really bald.  It's not exactly pretty, but it comes close enough to rugged.  I like it pretty well and it's low maintenance.  The only thing I'd prefer would be simple, short hair . . . . but alas, I can only manage that around the sides, these days.  The top of my head is like a weedy garden; if I grow it out, I'll have patches and areas and zones, none of which will have the same length or thickness of hair.  I just administer a mercy shaving every week or so, accepting my fate with the grim determination and steely resolve of a pudgy, balding viking warrior.  But now . . . my character in the play will be "Tom," a "blustery accountant in his mid-fifties."  He's kind of a jerk, but don't worry, he probably comes around in the end.

Anyway, I'm thinking . . . would Tom have the big red viking beard and the cueball haircut?  I'm thinking . . . nope.  I've stopped shaving my head for now.  The play is in mid-November; I think, a couple of days before, I'm going to shave the top of my head so I'll have that classic fringe of hair around the sides with the shiny naked pate on top, and shave everything but the mustache off my face.  By that time, I should have a magnificent, Lawdog-esque red push broom under my nose.  If I dress the part, I should be able to become Tom for a couple of days before I revert to Donnie in time for deer season.

Now that's settled, next question:  does Tom wear polo shirts, cardigans, or Christmas sweaters (ironically, of course?)

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