Sunday, November 18, 2007

Le Clown Est Mort.

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I bring you sad, sad tidings:

Klutzo the Klown, the man who brought terror and disgust to children from Illinois to the Philippines, is dead.

Yes, yes, I know, it's terrible news. And it is certainly [i]not[/i] funny. I'm talking to you, Lawdog. Wipe that smirk off your face.

Even worse is that this misunderstood man died after being shocked with a TASER by minions of the state just because he was fighting them. Can you imagine such a thing? Amnesty International is apparently not happy about such shenanigans and goings-on. You have to hand it to these people--it's not easy being the pro-clown-child-molestation lobby, but I guess they figured that if they didn't do it, who would?

All joking aside, the rest of us are less concerned. This is the second time Klutzo has had to be restrained because he was fighting the deputies in the jail. They don't get paid enough to put up with his nonsense. I don't know what Amnesty International expected the deputies to do (the guy HAD to be put into the chair, because he was having medical issues and had to be transported to the local hospital. EMS response was apparently pretty prompt, because the ambulance was already en route to transport him to the hospital--and they were called and told to respond signal one when Klutzo's distress became clear.
Just to make it clear, I don't think you can say honestly that the deputies killed this guy by tasing him on his leg. Is it possible? Maybe. Could he have gotten asphyxiated positionally or something? Could be, certainly, but nobody seems to be suggesting that at this point. What we do know is that this guy was not in good health and probably wasn't in shape to be struggling with a mob of cops. But then, that was his choice, wasn't it? Somebody out there is apparently making a big deal out of the fact that the deputy with the TASER said in the report that he fired the TASER into Klutzo's leg, while information "downloaded from the TASER" indicated that it was pushed into the leg and used in the hand like a traditional stun gun. I confess I don't see the significance; as far as I know, the effect on the body should have been exactly the same either way. The voltage is the same, the amperage is the same, and I believe the duration is the same, so why does it matter where the unit was? Since no one is alleging that he wasn't tased in the leg, I'd guess that the marks from the probes bear that part out. I don't know why the deputy would say he was further back if he wasn't, of course, unless it was a simple mistake. What would he have to gain by lying about that?

For now, I'm not shedding any tears. Clowns deserve to be tased, and child molesters deserve death. Klutzo made his choices in life, and the consequences came, just like they always do sooner or later.


Matt G said...

I'm always unhappy to hear of another death that involves a Taser, because it means that's one more thing that folks will use when lobbying to declare Tasers as Deadly Force. When you do that, then we might as well just shoot 'em, eh? Tasers are great intermediate weapons that save a lot of lives. I do believe that many guys are going to Taser long before they should have given up on simple empty hand techniques that a few simple hours of practice can perfect. (Well, that's not exactly true-- outside of martial arts films, no grappling technique or even pressure point technique is "perfect.")

Strings said...

I'm trying to find any downside here, other than what Matt has pointed out. Sorry, but I can't shed a tear for this clown...

Don said...

I'm not going to lie to you.

If a clown is getting zapped with a Taser, I don't stop to ask whether he did anything else wrong.

But this guy did, so it's OK. No, really.

Don't look at me like that.

Tam said...

If he was a mime, I'd have just shot his ass.

Don said...

Mimes are no joke. Remember that guy on Highlander who got wasted on absinthe and assassinated people while performing as a mime?

LawDog said...


That's a orphanarium full of kids who'll sleep better tonight.

Don said...

Dammit, Lawdog, what did I just say?

LawDog said...

Yes, but I threw in the Futurama reference.