Monday, August 27, 2007

It Is Shameful That I Call Myself a Man . . . .

. . . . on the same continent as Randy Couture.

I'm not going to mince words; I love this man. I'm a nutrider. I admit it. I've enjoyed watching Randy since he was a Heavyweight in the "old" UFC--the "banned from TV because John McCain is dumb" version.
But when he beat Chuck Liddell at Light Heavyweight, I jumped on board with both feet and never rooted against him again. Sometimes he wins, rarely he loses, but he is always a giant among men. Now that he is Heavyweight champion again, in a division that now includes Cro-Cop and Fedor, we will see fireworks.

Nobody gave Randy credit for beating Tim Sylvia because the "experts" all think they can increase their cred by finding new ways to disparage Tim Sylvia. Well, that's DUMB, kids. Sylvia is a monster. He's not on the level of Randy, Cro-Cop, Barnett, Nog, or Fedor, but guess what, big guy, neither are you. Sylvia was in the top ten in the WORLD when Randy dominated him without mercy, and to pretend otherwise is stupid.

Here's the quick breakdown of the link:

1. Randy Couture beat Gabriel "Napao" Gonzaga to retain the UFC Heavyweight Championship of the world this weekend. Gonzaga was coming off a shocker in which he knocked out Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic with Cro-Cop's own signature left high kick. Cro-Cop is the closest thing to James Bond you'll find in real life; the world was shocked.

2. Randy accidentally broke Gonzaga's nose with a head butt during a takedown. This would be illegal if you did it on purpose, but it was clearly an accident and I've never seen Captain America cheat. Gonzaga is a badass, so he just ground out the rest of the fight against one of the best heavyweight fighters on the planet with a broken nose.

3. Gonzaga broke Randy's left arm with a kick (a legal kick, although he didn't aim it at Randy's arm--Randy was blocking the kick.) Randy is an ultimate badass, so he ground out the rest of the fight against one of the best heavyweight fighters in the world. He even finished Gonzaga by throwing left hands. The arm might have been numb by then, but it takes a lot of pain to get to numbness.

4. After the fight, Randy made a point of mentioning that he felt the head contact and felt Napao's nose break, which was amazingly honest. He didn't have to do that.
He also made a point of not mentioning that he'd fought through having his own arm broken. A whole lot of fanboys like me are saying that having his arm broken means that Randy didn't get an unfair advantage from breaking Gonzaga's nose with his head--but that's not true. Head butts are illegal, therefore nobody defends against them, therefore it's not exactly fair to score damage with a technique your opponent isn't defending. It was an accident, and accidents happen in this sport, but that doesn't mean it's good that it happened, and it was big of Randy to apologize when he could have said "Screw him, life's a bitch."
Not Randy. Randy simply says it happened and he's sorry. He offers no excuses. That's rare in MMA, where the normal procedure after every loss is to explain that you were just about to win when the sun got in your eyes, or your opponent farted, or the ring girl winked at you, or whatever. Alternatively, it is permissible to explain that you have had dysentery for six weeks and could barely walk to the cage, but you didn't want to let the fans down, and that's why you got pasted. Some guys have been known to explain that they would have won, but they didn't train very hard. (?!?)

For a school teacher who's also a fan of MMA, sometimes it seems like life is one long stream of poor excuses. You will not hear excuses from Randy Couture. I didn't even have to mention that the guy is 44 years old and dominating guys half his age, did I? Good thing, too. This post is already too long.


10% said...

But you can't tapout on the streets! What with the hypodermic lavaglass, eye gouging, and purple nerples ... nah I still think Randy would stomp a mud hole in my tail then walk it dry.

Don said...

Don't forget the lava.

Randy would not submit you on the street, anyway. He would throw you down on a hard curb head first. If you were too stupid to die or pass out, he would then mount you and punch you in the mouth until you went out.

I'm kidding, but I'm not.

J.R.Shirley said...

UFC: the only thing I miss about Armed Forces Network television.