Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I, For One, Welcome Our New Hoosier Overlords

Well, the big day is here. At midnight CST, Illinois state government's temporary budget runs out. People are talking about a government shutdown. In Springfield, people are abuzz with the possibility that the Illinois State Fair will actually be canceled this year; it's set to begin in about two weeks, I believe.

I'm torn. On the one hand, when the government shuts down, it's going to break a lot of promises. A lot of school districts haven't hired new teachers for the next term, for example, which begins in about two weeks. And the state doesn't pay its bills for at least 90-120 days under the best of circumstances because . . . well, because nobody has the power to make them do better.

On the other hand, Illinois government sucks, and if you're going to shut something down, it's a prime candidate. I'm hoping this leaves us ripe for invasion by Eastern hordes of faceless supermen, crashing across the prairie in waves of overwhelming violence and ruthlessly asserting total control. I refer, of course, to Indiana.

Don't listen to those who tell you Illinois is a quagmire, Indiana! Roll across the border and I guarantee you will be greeted as liberators! You can do it!


I should probably have spent more time in the air conditioning today and less in the attic. Anyway, the House and the Senate gaveled in and out today, which means they convened session as required by the Governor and then immediately adjourned. This sounds crazy at first, because hey, no budget. But the fact is that in Illinois, the members of those houses are basically powerless unless the leaders are on board and in agreement. They can only vote up or down on a budget agreement; the leaders and the Governor will have to craft one, and they're not even meeting or negotiating. In short, they're not doing their jobs. People think you're a nerd or a weirdo if you talk about how messed up Illinois politics are, but when a crisis like this comes up, they want a solution. The only solution was to vote these clowns out years ago.

3 comments:

Peter said...

Hey Don, I am hoping Wisconsin takes us over, For some reason they know how to repair roads so that they are smooth and the beer is better.

Don Gwinn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Don Gwinn said...

Somebody called in to the local radio show yesterday and mentioned that the border with Indiana was undefended. I thought he was about to join the movement, but he had a better idea:
Presumably, Indiana has a working budget. Let's just go over there and take theirs!

I've thought it through three times and I can't see the flaw.