OK, that didn't work. Have some cute baby pictures while I work this out.
"Is this a dagger I see befo--NOM NOM NOM!"
These probably look posed, but the truth is that Sean is perhaps the stabbiest baby I've ever known. The kid loves to hammerfist, and if he can put something in his hand, so much the better. The best are the nights when I'm dozing with him cuddled in my arms and the little dickens pulls his stabby act with, say, a glass jar of Vapo-Rub from the headboard--and giggles like mad as daddy grits his teeth and tries to look macho.
"Maybe I should just pull that out, huh? I love my work."
"But this can mean only one thing! Somewhere out on the mean streets, Guido the Goatface is frantically trying to kill Rocco "Stitchy Nose" Balducci with a sippy cup."
(No babies or photographers were harmed in the production of this work. The "knife" is a soft rubber training piece.)
Schlock Mercenary: October 25, 2014
6 minutes ago