I kid you not:
When I was a bit younger, my mother worked for the Illinois Department of Natural Resources. We live near Springfield, which the natives will try to tell you is the capital of Illinois (in which the capitol is located.) Every summer, Springfield hosts the Illinois State Fair, since, as the capital of Illinois, it includes the Illinois State Fairgrounds. Remember all that, there will be a test later.
Anyway, that year, mom was calling volunteers from other DNR offices around the state who had signed up to work at the DNR tent at the State Fair. DNR runs the "Conservation World" area of the fair--you can paddle French voyageur canoes, shoot BB guns, watch pro lumberjack shows--all the cool stuff. Mom called the Chicago office and spoke to a very nice young lady who was simply bubbling with enthusiasm:
Don's Mom: So, we'll see you on the 15th then?
Really Nice Chicago Lady: Perfect, I can't wait to get out of here for a few days.
DM: Is the city life wearing on you a little?
RNCL: No, I do love it here, but I'm really excited about this trip! I've never been out of the state before!
DM: . . . . uh . . . . well, you know we're talking about the Illinois State Fair, right?
Schlock Mercenary: October 1, 2016
59 minutes ago