Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Some days are weirder than others . . .

See, the thing about the Golden Rule is that it almost encourages you to think of everyone else as being more or less just odd-looking versions of you. Of course, they're not, but who really believes that, deep down? So you do unto them as you would have them do unto you, which is why my wife gives me pants for my birthday, while I take her to a hotel with a huge whirlpool tub on hers. She thinks I should be thrilled to have more pants, because, hey, free pants. I think she should be thrilled to spend an evening in a bath with me because--- and I'm just going to dispense with the false modesty here for a moment---what woman wouldn't? Don't go yet, I have a point.

Anyway, sometimes we do the wrong thing without any bad intentions. I posted a person's real name publicly recently without a second thought (it's gone down the memory hole now, don't bother.) I've been going by my real name for years now, ever since I realized that 99% of the people on the internet thought "Gwinnydapooh" was a girl. And thought they had a shot with her.
It hasn't been a big deal for me except that guys on the internet stopped agreeing with me so much. In fact, there have been some downright liberating moments, like the time a neo-Nazi called "Micetrap" posted my named and address on his website. Having posted them myself on my site, I was entitled to yawn in a dismissive fashion. But a lot of folks on the internet couldn't write what they do if their friends, families or even enemies knew who they were.

So sometimes, you're brilliant. Sometimes, you're not. And sometimes, you're lunching on the veranda when your cell phone rings from a completely unfamiliar area code, and a deep, somewhat unsettling voice intones:
". . . not smart enough for *&%$@ing Callwa- . . . YOU'RE PIERCING THE VEIL, DON."



William the Coroner said...

I had a bet with myself as to what that person's Christian name would be. I was correct, and had to buy myself lunch at Waffle House. So, thanks.

But don't worry too much, everyone steps on their own feet at some point.

Don said...

Worlds collided! Friend George and Relationship George must never meet!


Larry said...

LOL. I keep a (very thin) veil of anonymity myself.

But I work in IT, so at some point, a co-worker or potential employer is bound to google my name, it's just better to keep work and pointed political commentary seperate, for the sake of my mortgage.

Tam said...


I picked my clever screen name when I needed to ask a question on Glock Talk 8 years ago. I hadn't really thought the whole "privacy" thing through. I thought I was being really clever and secretive by not using my last name. :)

Matt G said...

Here's how it went:

I saw that longtime online buddy Don had posted two personal comments to longtime online (and meatspace, for me) buddy LD, using his first name.

My buddy L.D. sometimes makes references to work issues that are best not tied to any one person, at any one department. He has maintained his online name for 8+ years that I know of.

I had done the EXACT same thing when LD commented on my very first entry to my blog. I deleted it later, realizing what I'd done.

Knowing that L.D. was too polite a person to call and complain, I looked up Don's cell phone from the Sooper Sekrit Staph Kontakt Lizt, and called Don's number. It went to voice mail. While waiting to leave a voice mail, I got a call-waiting beep, from Don. He obviously had called back the number that he had just missed.

It's long distance from Texas to Illinois, and midday rates, at that. I didn't want to flip over from long distance voice mail to long-distance real-speak, to have two calls running at once. So I tried to turn off the cordless phone and turn it back on real quick, to catch Don's incoming call.

Dial tone. Real smooth, Nikola. And will Missus Tesla be ordering, as well?

So I hit ReDial, and was muttering about not being able to properly figure out Call Waiting, when I realized that Don had picked up. And, as I am wont to do, I sort of opened my first verbal conversation with an e-buddy with a non-sequitor.

And now you know... the Rest Of The Story.

Good Day![/P. Harvey]

Don said...

Knowing that L.D. was too polite a person to call and complain, I looked up Don's cell phone from the Sooper Sekrit Staph Kontakt Lizt, and called Don's number.


Man, you are in trouble. I feel much better now, thanks.

J.R.Shirley said...

Ninja team dispatched? Oh, goody. :-)

LawDog said...