Thursday, August 28, 2008

Overheard in a Middle School

"That's some blog you've got up!" the big man told me. "We might have to talk, I don't know!"
He was smiling as he went out the door. Meet the Staff Night was beginning at Overachievers Middle School, and he'd only stopped in our room to get directions, but he'd caught me updating this site.

My poor co-teacher cringed. "Are you going to get in trouble?"
"No, I don't think so. That's Billy Dee's dad, isn't it?"
"So, Billy Dee is the kid who stapled a picture of himself shooting a camouflaged AR-15 to his 'Things You Should Know About Me' poster, isn't he?"
"Oh, I don't think anybody did that," she said, giving me the sideways-through-the-eyebrows look that little Italian ladies give you when they think you're off your rocker.
"I'm not in here for that class, but it was right here on the front table a couple of days ago. I showed it to you. It was your assignment!"

A comfortable, if lengthy, silence ensued.

"Besides, did you see his dad's t-shirt? 'Tactical Explosive Entry School?' I don't think he's too worried about me."
"Do you really think there's a rifle on there? I did not see that! Where is it? I put them in the hall!"

We trundled out to the hall. We are not a graceful pair. She's pregnant and I'm me.

"There it is. See?"
"Ohmygod I didn't even see that! Reach up there and turn that around backward!"
"Are you kidding? You can't do that! You're not in Rockford anymore, lady. This is Illinois. That's not how things are done here. It's no big deal."
"Just turn it around so no one sees it."
"OK," I told her, curling the photo a bit. "But if he asks, I had nothing to do with it. There, feel better?"
"I just don't want to get into trouble. And I don't want him to get into trouble. You know how it is."
"Yeah. Should we do something about the big 'Shoting' title or the 'Watch out, I'll break all your clays' part? Or the giant mushroom-cloud explosion in the center of the paper?"

I have got to stop doing that. :D


Matt G said...


Don Gwinn said...

Now you see the violence inherent in the system.

Anonymous said...


doneitall said...

Reminds me of the comments I made at our first faculty meeting during the "About Me" session. Something about how I enjoy drinking good single barrel bourbons and shooting large caliber handguns. Several new teachers cringed. The ones who knew me snickered quietly