Oh, Barack! You're Prettiest When You're Quiet.

Originally from Cam Edwards at On Tap, by way of Sharp As a Marble and Ahab (hey, we can't all get paid millions to shill for the NRA, and I don't have a misogynist bumper-sticker empire to pad my accounts. I have to work for a living, or at the very least, simulate it convincingly.)

“If you’ve got a gun in your house, I’m not taking it,’’ Obama said. But the Illinois senator could still see skeptics in the crowd, particularly on the faces of several men at the back of the room.

So he tried again. “Even if I want to take them away, I don’t have the votes in Congress,’’ he said. “This can’t be the reason not to vote for me. Can everyone hear me in the back? I see a couple of sportsmen back there. I’m not going to take away your guns.’’

Uh, yeah. So you'd like to take away my guns, but you don't have the votes in Congress . . . . yet . . . . so I should vote for you. Because . . . if a man wants to steal my property under color of law . . . but can't work out a way to do it . . . then I should want that man to be President.

Look, I'm not really following you here, Barry, and the truth is I've stood in some crowded committee meeting rooms at the Illinois state capitol and listened to you betray deep ignorance on one day and screw us hard the next, and I don't trust you any further you could throw me, which is considerably less distance than I could throw your skinny ass.

So, to sum up:

• I know you're lying.
• If you were telling the truth, what you're saying would be a good reason to give money to your opponent.
• I think I'll go do that right now.