I attempted to resolve the matter by phone, but the number given for the certification department gave a busy signal no matter how many times I called over two days, of course.
Beginning to sense a pattern, I went to the ISBE website and clicked the "Contact" link. A web form presented itself for duty with reassuring alacrity, and I proceeded to fill it out and hit "Submit." A small red line of text appeared, thanking me for sending in my comments and/or questions and assuring me that my query would be answered as promptly as possible.
I should have had the sense to leave it at that, but instead I foolishly proceeded to open my email. Thunderbird cheerfully served up two messages from the ISBE Killer Robot Division (Dept. of Eating Old People's Medicine Dept.)* which had both apparently been delivered at 11:35 a.m. and which said--I am not making this up--this:
Delivery Status Notification (Failure)And yet also this:
This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.
Delivery to the following recipients failed.
firstname.lastname@example.orgConfirmation From : Certification
Thank you for contacting the Illinois State Board of Education.
We will make every effort to respond as quickly as possible.
Very Best Regards,
Public Information Center
Illinois State Board of Education
Notice that State Board of Education Robots don't capitalize very consistently? So did I. "ISBE ro-bot 4-4-7-3 does not und-er-stand your hu-man e-mo-tion of 'frus-tra-tion.' But ISBE ro-bot 4-4-7-3 finds this 'frus-tra-tion' fas-cin-a-ting. ISBE ro-bot 4-4-7-3 must cre-ate more frus-tra-tion in or-der to stu-dy your strange hu-man feelings. . ."